Why We Need to Speak Up: Reflections from the Stairs After My Talk

I had the honor of speaking as a keynote at an association conference recently. As usual, I wrapped up my talk, answered a question or two, and thanked the group. From the outside, it might have looked like any other successful presentation.

But here’s what I’ve learned: the real conversations rarely happen in the Q&A.

They happen on the way out.
They happen on the stairs.
They happen over a casual coffee.

That’s exactly what happened after my session. As people began to trickle out, the true questions started to emerge. Thoughtful, honest, and often vulnerable ones:

“I’ve never thought of stress management as a skill before…”
“It’s great to know the strategies—but how do I actually practice them in real time?”
“How do I stay accountable when things get busy?”
“Is what I do to decompress even considered mindful?”

These weren’t just one-off curiosities. These were the same questions I hear over and over again, in different rooms, with different faces. It made me wish we had more time built into the session for this kind of sharing—or that people felt safer to speak up earlier.

Because here’s the truth: when one person asks a question out loud, they’re speaking for ten others who are thinking the same thing.

We all want to be seen. We all want tools that work. We all want to feel a little more steady, especially in high-stress industries where burnout is so common. But often, the conversations that help us the most are the ones we hesitate to have.

I say this with love and urgency: Speak up. 

Even if your voice shakes. Even if you’re not sure it’s “on topic.” Even if you’re worried it might make you seem vulnerable.

What I see—what I know—from the other side of the podium is this: when you share, you’re not only advocating for yourself… you’re opening a door for others. You’re helping your colleagues feel less alone. You’re helping create a culture that takes wellbeing seriously.

As a speaker, nothing means more to me than those moments of genuine reflection. So if you’re ever in one of my sessions, please speak up. Whether it's during the Q&A or as we head for coffee—I want to hear your questions, your thoughts, your struggles.

Because when we share, we learn.
When we learn, we grow.
And when we grow together, real change starts to happen.